Reflections on Courage in Chanel Miller’s Memoir
I was editing the episode around the same time I was reading Taylor Jenkin Reid’s newest novel, “Atmosphere.” (So good btw.) She wrote this: “Bravery is being unafraid of something other people are afraid of. Courage is being afraid, but strong enough to do it anyway.”
And as I listened to my friend, Becca, and I’s discussion about Chanel Miller’s story of sexual assault and the aftermath in her memoir, “Know My Name”, I found myself wondering… would I have the courage to what what she did?
Of course, I’d like to think I would! If I had any role to play in justice being served, I would play it. If I could take a sexual predator down, make him pay for what he did, I would do it.
But yet —
Hope is a Four Letter Word
Many women do come forward and time and time again they are told their word, their experience, their worth isn’t valuable enough. They’re left jobless. Ridiculed. Threatened. Called whores and liars. Their integrity and character questioned.
We know some of their names. E. Jean Carroll. Christine Ford. Anita Hill. Ashley Judd. Rose McGowan. Salma Hayek. Annabella Sciorra. Asia Argento. Mira Sorvino. Paz de la Huerta. Lysette Anthony. Gisele Pelicot. Cassandra Ventura. Samantha Gailey. Chessy Prout. Jeannie Vanasco. Rachael Denhollander. Simone Biles. Gabby Douglas. Aly Raisman. Chanel Miller.
And more.
And more.
And so many more.
And yes, some of their abusers were convicted.
But, some of their abusers were acquitted.
And, some of their abusers sit on the Supreme Court.
AND One of their rapists is… well, we all know where.
Let’s Talk About the Epstein List
Even when it felt like finally we were coming together for justice, the forces-that-be are hard at work to keep it quiet. The Epstein List has gotten caught in political purgatory. It’s being called a “Democratic Hoax” (whatever that means) and Republican Representative Thomas Massie tweeted that the White House is “threatening anyone who helps bring true transparency and justice for survivors.” Yet some of his now grown victims are compiling their own list of known associates, pushing past the death threats to be heard.
Would I have the courage?
The world demands so much from women. Courage. Compliancy. Perfection. Conformity. Inequality. Gratitude. Strength. Beauty. Modesty. Babies.
What does it demand from men?
In the podcast episode, Becca and I discuss what we can do individually in our own lives. We talk about empowering our daughters to make good decisions to stay safe. And I hated it. I hated once again that we’re putting the burden of responsibility on our daughters, but in a world where more people care about “cancel culture” than “rape culture”, what choice do we have?
We talked about raising our sons to be kind and respectful. To be the cyclists and not the swimmer.
Her Voice Gives us strength
Chanel Miller, thank you. For giving more than anyone should have to give. For being stronger than anyone should have to be. For telling us your story. For telling us your name. Thank you to all the women who get up every morning and work to exist in a world not built for them. Who work to make that world exist for them.
How are you working to make the world a better place for the women and children in your lives?
How are you raising your son to make the world safer for my daughter?
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline has provided confidential, compassionate support to survivors since 1994.
Call: 800.656.4673. (HOPE)
Text: HOPE to 64673
Chat 24/7 online
